Monday, May 21, 2018

The “Long Walk of Shame:” Love Advice from St. Valentine

By Annie Scalambrino ’14

Contributing Writer

Every year there is one day that is either celebrated or dreadfully hated.  It’s that time of the year where half of us women are extremely ecstatic, whereas the other half want to eat three pints of ice cream and slowly cry themselves to sleep. Men are reminded that they have to think of some grand romantic gesture and know that if they fail to do so, their girlfriends will not be pleased and they will never hear the end of it. Or, for the male without a significant other, it is just another day of watching Sportscenter. 
Yes, Valentine’s Day has arrived.  On this glorious day more than 50 million roses are given out worldwide, one million cards are sold and exchanged, and approximately 110 million roses will be bought over a three day time frame in the U.S. 
No matter what one does, the day simply cannot be ignored.  Stores are fluttered with chocolates, roses and hearts. Mather has a Valentine’s Day themed dinner.  Hamlin Hall offers a classy dinner for couples. Facebook is filled with many muploads of cute things boyfriends do for their girlfriends and the presents they have gotten.  Girls make statuses that claim they are happy they are single and “don’t need no man,” and then they are the ones who act like they don’t care about Valentine’s Day. 
Do we even know what Valentine’s Day is and how it came to be? Who is this St. Valentine man that has made it so we have to display our love and dish out massive amounts of cash to prove it?  
Well, there are many legends surrounding this special day. One story has it that Valentine was a priest during Rome in the third century.  At this time, Claudius II was the emperor.  He believed that single soldiers fought better, so he made it so that all Roman soldiers could not be married. Since Valentine believed in the power of love, he secretly married Roman soldiers.  When Claudius II found out, Valentine was put to death and died in the name of love.
The second legend has it that Valentine was a prisoner who fell in love with his jailer’s daughter.  Before being put to death he wrote her the first valentine and signed it, “your valentine,” which may be where we get this saying today. There are many other legends, but let’s be honest here, you don’t care, so I wont bother writing about all of them.
Valentine’s Day also brings much confusion to couples who have just gotten together, those who are en route to making it official, and to “arrangements” such as the ever so popular “friends with benefits” that us college students seem to be well-versed in. If you are in one of these arrangements do you hang out with him/her on Valentine’s Day? If so, is that giving them the wrong idea?  Does that mean you like them? Do you have to watch a movie and do something different because it’s Valentine’s Day? Who brings up hanging out first? If you don’t hang out, what does that mean? It appears that Valentine’s Day can make or break one of these seemingly casual arrangements.  
Instead of writing some extremely optimistic piece about loving life and your friends, or an article on why we should be embracing these single years of college, I figured that I would share some lovely tips (for us ladies who do not have a significant other) of things to do on Valentine’s Day.
1.Go see The Vow with your girlfriends and eat lots of chocolate in the theater.  Make sure to take in Channing Tatum’s hot bod everytime he appears on screen. 
2. Go out to dinner with your friends and make fun of all the couples. 
3. Sit in Mather and order yourself a Valentone from the Trinitones while pretending that a secret admirer sent it to you and that you didn’t actually pay for it yourself.  
If none of these ideas strike your fancy, or they simply do not work, make sure to stock up on some good old Häagen Dazs.

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