Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Long Walk of Shame: How to have an FWB “relationship”

By: Annie Scalambrino ’14

Contributing Writer 

Yes, I am writing about the ever so popular topic friends with benefits (FWB).  I know, what can I write that you haven’t already read from Cosmo or heard from a friend? Well, through years of experience I have gathered just about as much information a girl could gather. So much, that I don’t even know where to start.

            I guess I should start off by saying that FWB can work.  I repeat, it can work.  Everyone says that it doesn’t…all the articles say the same, but I am telling you that they are false. If you are in the right mindset and the right situation it will work out perfectly. Here are some tips to having a successful FWB:

            1. Establish a set of rules at the beginning.

Go over what both of you want out of the “relationship”.  Talk about what is going to happen and how often you think you may want to meet up. Will this be a weekday relationship, a weekend, or both? Will there be texting or no texting?  This does not have to be a long drawn out conversation or else it makes the FWB situation seem like it is something more.

            2. You need to find someone who has the same mindset as you and who is willing to never let their mindset sway from what you have established.

            3. Decide on how you are going to spend your weekends.

Once you have a FWB situation set up, you now have the weekend to explore and find new people. Will you revert to your FWB person once you know the night is not going well, or have you decided that they will be your weekend person?

            4. No cuddling.

If you do decide to spend the night there can be no cuddling.  Cuddling allows you to give into the other person and feel much more safe around them.  There will be none of this in a FWB situation.  No good can come of it.

            5. You must remind yourself constantly that you are nothing. 

This is one of the most important things you can do.  No matter what happens, you are nothing. 

            6. It makes it easier to have more than one designated FWB that way you do not get attached.

            It may seem like there are too many steps to making a FWB situation work out perfectly, but it is only as easy and as hard as you make it. All things considered, the things we gain from a FWB situation can help us forget about the other things going on in our lives and make us feel like we have someone who is there for us.  In any case, FWB can be fun and worth it in many situations, but we have to remember it can’t last forever.

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