Thursday, May 24, 2018

Through the Grapevine: Snooki matures into motherhood


By: Serena Elavia ’14
Staff Writer 
There comes a time in everyone’s life when they grow into adulthood and leave behind the crazy behavior of their youthful lives. While it may be difficult to believe, and some of us certainly do not want to see this happen, the cast members of the popular reality show “Jersey Shore” are all beginning to grow up. This week, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi announced that she was three months pregnant and engaged to former boyfriend, Jionni LaValle. Everyone knew that Snooki would at some point grow out of her crazy antics, which include anything from drunken acrobats to public intoxication, but no one expected that a baby would expedite her shift into adulthood. The question now is whether or not Snooki will actually be able to abandon her spring break style partying to care for her child and future husband. 
In the past two seasons of “Jersey Shore,” Snooki did everything that a pregnant woman should never even dream of doing. Every time Snooki got mad at someone in the house, either a cigarette would appear in her hand, or she would take back seven or eight shots at the bar. This is the first lesson in Snooki’s pregnancy manual: cigarettes and alcohol will not be your friends for the next few months. As Snooki needs copious amounts of alcohol to have fun, this adjustment may be difficult for her, though she may surprise America and have the self-control to stay away from alcohol until after she gives birth. With her reputation as an insane partier, everyone may doubt Snooki’s ability to empty her fridge of alcohol, but Snooki is smarter than we think.
Not too long ago, everyone doubted former drug addict and party girl Nicole Ritchie’s ability to raise a child, but she fought criticism and is now happily married with two, healthy beautiful children. In many ways, starting a family was what pushed Ritchie into a good place, as she was forced to tame herself and look out for another life. Hopefully, Snooki will go through a similar self-realization process and lose her desire to party hard. 
Snooki’s second lesson in her pregnancy manual is that she has to learn how to deal with fiancé Jionni LaValle. LaValle steers clear of the spotlight and surprisingly, according to “People Magazine,” is training to be a teacher. Arguably, one of the more dramatic moments of Season Four of “Jersey Shore” was when Snooki and then boyfriend LaValle had a nasty break up that included LaValle abandoning her in Florence and an expletive filled phone conversation. Snooki and LaValle now need to put aside all of their past problems and learn to work together in stabilizing their relationship in order to raise their little guido or guidette. The two need to understand that they can’t simply break up and make up at their convenience, and that just because the two may have a disagreement this is not grounds for a break up. Hopefully, Snooki’s pregnancy will force this couple with a turbulent past to reconcile their differences and build a stable home for their growing family. 
While everyone is concerned with how Snooki’s behavior will change with her pregnancy, the other important question to explore is how this little surprise will affect “Jersey Shore” ratings, Snooki and Jennifer “JWoww” Farley’s new show, and future business opportunities for Snooki. If Snooki can’t drink for the next few months, what is she going to do to entertain viewers? As the premise of “Jersey Shore” and all other spinoffs is partying, it is likely that ratings will go down. MTV will most likely not sign Snooks for another season, as there is no way that a pregnant woman could survive in that house, and viewership will go down. With Vinny and Snooki off the show, no one will be able to only watch Sammi “Sweetheart” and Ronnie constantly fight, or listen to Pauly D continuously yell, “cabs are here.” While her pregnancy may negatively affect “Jersey Shore,” a plethora of other business opportunities are now available to Snooki. Diaper companies should be thrilled, as now they can have Snooki market their next line of cheetah print diapers. Additionally, it is only a matter of time until parenting magazines contact Snooki for a cover shoot and an interview; yes, Snooki’s photo shoot takes preference over Jessica Simpson’s. My personal favorite will be when K-Mart comes out with a discounted line of baby clothes all designed by Snooks. Contrary to what many believe, Snooki’s pregnancy will certainly not end her status as a reality television star. In just a few months, MTV will probably have developed an outline for a new reality show following Snooki and her fiancé as they shop for a house, plan their wedding and work on raising their little bundle of joy. If anything, Snooki’s pregnancy will turn her from a reality television star to a flourishing career woman with a myriad of business ventures. The days of “Jersey Shore” may be over, but get ready for Snooki’s world.  

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