CHANEL PALACIOS ’14
Words with Friends, Dominos, Instagram, Sleep Cycle, there’s a ridiculous amount of apps out there. And unless it’s Bank of America or Chipotle, most of the apps are useless. I present to you one of my favorite useless apps: Snapchat.
For those of you who don’t believe in stupid apps, Snapchat should make you reconsider. It’s the one place where you can take and send completely hideous/stupid/ridiculous/hilarious pictures without having them permanently on the internet or in someone’s phone. Although that’s not entirely true.
Snapchat allows you to send photos with a limited viewing time of a maximum of ten seconds, or less if you want it that way. The photos have no save option, meaning these photos are fleeting. Which possibly explains why the symbol is a ghost. (Kudos to my editors for explaining that.)As the website states, “There is value in the ephemeral. Great conversations are magical. That’s because they are shared, enjoyed, but not saved.” However, the app isn’t foolproof so beware. If you really don’t want anyone else to ever see you without makeup, make sure the person doesn’t have an iPhone, or something that can take a screenshot. Other than that possible downside, Snapchat is wonderful.
Here are some Snapchat facts. (Say that five times fast.) The Snapchat team is composed of four Stanford students by the names of Daniel Smith, David Kravitz, Bobby Murphy and Evan Spiegel. Their philosophy statement says, “We believe in sharing authentic moments with friends. It’s not all about fancy vacations, sushi dinners, or beautiful sunsets. Sometimes it’s an inside joke, a silly face, or greetings from a pet fish.”
Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Snapchat must have been invented by some guy who was asking some girl for naked pictures. Except the Snapchat team is made of four guys. Clearly they bonded over a common problem. Their philosophy statement reads “inside joke.” I read that as “naked pictures.” No judgment on the girls who send those kinds of pictures in a regular message, but many girls are reluctant to find naked pictures of them on the Internet or being passed around in various social circles. Behold! The invention of Snapchat! So for those girls under the illusion of complete privacy, I remind you of the ability to screenshot. Snapchat will tell you if someone takes a screenshot, but that’s after the fact. Damage can already be done. If you trust whoever you’re sending a Snapchat, or think it’s necessary to last through winter break, then Merry Christmas to all those guys out there. Otherwise, here are the real purposes of Snapchat.
1. Excessive pictures of yourself are now socially acceptable.
2. Hideous duck-faces are now also socially acceptable. Bonus points if you’re a guy making the face. Fake, orange tans are not socially acceptable. Sorry, but unless it shows up only on the app, and not real life, don’t do it.
3. You are miserable in the library and everyone needs to know it. Even that one friend from freshman year who you don’t talk to.
4. Someone is picking their nose in the middle of the library. You must warn society to stay away from germs.
5. You are drunk in some frat basement. Your roommate is staying in sick/studying and you want them to know you’re thinking of them. Another caution. If they can screenshot it just to remind you of what you don’t want to remember, they definitely will.
6. Semester abroad photos to your nearest and dearest who you miss oh so much. They will appreciate the pictures of foreign hot guys and beautiful scenery while they are studying in a smelly common room.
7. Sickness has taken over, and you want your family to feel really sorry for you and send you money and a care package.
8. Remind your high school friends how much fun you’re having in college without them. Or, more realistically, send them pictures of you crying because you miss them so much.
9. Your roommate is sitting oddly, and you want to draw silly or inappropriate things on their face, but they have a presentation the next day. It would be frowned upon for your roommate to show up to class with the words “butt face” on her forehead, but you can do it with Snapchat’s drawing feature.
10. Quite honestly, the best reason for Snapchat is to show how awesome you think you are. Lydia Kay ’13 describes it as “a personal mirror.” Experiment with the perfect angle so that the next selfie you take has the potential to be your new Facebook profile picture.
Snapchat is very simple. It’s distracting at times. But so is bubble wrap. The fun is in its simplicity. So why did I write an article about this instead of bubble wrap? Because bubble wrap isn’t free, and I definitely don’t want to share it. So instead, I send priceless photos of myself blatantly not doing work. Happy finals everyone!