Caroline, your presentation was visually engaging, and your research question is very clear. But in your written essay, I recommend that you expand your thesis to explain more about why the promises were not delivered. The current version of the thesis leaves us hanging, and would be much stronger with an additional sentence or two at the end, before you leap into the body of the paper.
Caroline, your presentation was visually engaging, and your research question is very clear. But in your written essay, I recommend that you expand your thesis to explain more about why the promises were not delivered. The current version of the thesis leaves us hanging, and would be much stronger with an additional sentence or two at the end, before you leap into the body of the paper.