The Effect of Student Social Movements on Trinity College Policy Posted on May 1, 2012May 1, 2012Author Louise Balsmeyer Google Doc Presentation
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Louise, I recommend that you expand your thesis to clarify WHY student activism was so influential. The current version of your thesis in this presentation makes a claim, but it would be much more persuasive to argue (as you did when I asked you at the end of your talk) how you knew that student activism was influential, compared to other factors (such as faculty or trustees). Your most compelling argument was that key policies changed immediately or shortly after student protests, and that’s the concept that you should incorporate into an expanded thesis.
One small but important point: I caution you against asking the hypothetical question (what would policy look like if activism had not occurred?) since there’s no way to directly answer that question. Your essay will be much more convincing by focusing on the timing of policy changes in response to student protests, as described above.
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